This is the real me.
I worked very hard for the better part of three years to become a pastor and only to say that what I thought I saw in every pastors life, you know the (Big fake smiles, sympathy handshakes, side hugs, and "can I pray for you statements") were just a front in most of the pastors I met to cover up the very real fact that serving God...is...hard.
People come to sunday service, mid-week service, or small groups to get fed some knowledge of the bible, also tacking on a slew of personal problems that they believe the pastors of the church can truly take care of. What they don't understand is that pastors are the biggest targets of issues of us all. We try to take the burdens of our own lives and pack on the burdens of others as well. This isn't easy. Many pastors will say the Lord will take your problems for you and that is the truest statement because not one pastor including myself can carry the weight of the church and survive. If they do, their marriages end up suffering, their kids suffer, and their own personal sanity goes out the window. You might even hear a pastor say just rest in the Lord. A statement that packs on often unstated questions like, "what the heck does that even mean"? or "how could I possibly rest in all of my problems"?
The truth is that when things are brought to pastors we try to counsel only from what we know of the bible and personal experience. How could a mere man fix someones personal problems like marriage, finances, or intimacy with God? The answer is...we cant. But God can.
The reason that I am talking about the life of a pastor is because it is straight freaking hard. And if I told you or showed you those fake smiles and handshakes of sympathy I would consider myself a hypocrite of the life I want to live for Jesus. This post is to open wide the eyes of those outside ministry and even to some within ministry about the trueness of what serving God entails. It is beyond hard but most satisfying when you experience His true grace and pure love.
This is me. I'm transparent about my walk with God because I will not be fake. I will not be the pastor who tells you when you accept Christ into your life that its easy going, happy, full of joy, and nothing but love. Accepting Christ is the hardest decision anyone can make cause it takes true sacrifice and not many people want to give all of themselves to experience what God has. But I tell you the truth, from my life, that even with all the hard times, stories of peoples lives of life from death in addiction, affairs, lies, and all other life experiences in being a pastor or in ministry at all...God is worth it.
You may not find that a life with Christ is all Joel Olsteen, with the big fake smiles. You may and most likely will find hardships and trials that truly test you and push you to be the best you can be but in the end...you still have a loving Father, Jesus Christ, and the free gift of eternity.
I'm Michael, and I'm a pastor, a husband, a father of three (one of which is in heaven, the other in my wife's belly, and one currently destroying my house), a skateboarder, a metalhead, and prayerfully a good friend to those who call me theirs.
This is my story.
This is my life with more to come.
Thanks for reading.
